in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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