As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
