worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
