May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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