Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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