i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
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