We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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