You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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