Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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