i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
