Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
