apparently the secret to your success is patron
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
