K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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