So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
