Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
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