can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Randomize
