I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
