after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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