And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
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