Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
