my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
