if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
We got so high we made milksteak
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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