Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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