I can't watch pbs sober anymore
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
