Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
