people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I can't turn off my feet"
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
