your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
