They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
