But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
