I skipped work to stalk him.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
