whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
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