and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
