dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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