I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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