what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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