I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
And then my night got REAL pukey
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
