im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
