I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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