Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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