am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
