I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
