So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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