Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
This is classic penis vs brain.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
