you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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