if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
