I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
