She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
