No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
