we're chasing vodka with high fives
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Randomize
