just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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