speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
