I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
