I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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