Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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