As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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