Say something about gay babies.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
