Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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