hotel room ftw
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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